Sorry you're not a winner

This week has gone by really fast and it's been a lot better then last week. Last week went by so slowly and was so horrble :( The only bad thing about this week was Thursday and Friday.

My mum just said to me "Amy, why can't you just be normal?". A bit harsh I think. Why would I want to be normal anyway? Normal is boring and like everyone else. I want to be unique and different! She desperately wants me to be a normal girl. The ones with normal coloured hair, that like normal pop music, wearing skirts and dresses, who's hobbies are putting makeup on her mum and doing her hair and watch old and depressing TV programmes like 'Little house on the Prairie' with her.

Give me a break, like I'll ever be like that. I've got to feel bad for her though, when she expected a baby girl I'm sure she expected someone girly and feminine. And here she is with a bitchy, tom boyish, stroppy, emo, Anarchist who enjoys Rock music and is obsessed with Vampires. No wonder she wants me to change so bad, but it just isn't going to happen.

I'm thinking of writing a book or something. I've got nothing better to do here and it's a way to kill time untill I come back to Bexhill and see all my friends and actually be happy. Sounds good but I'm just too lazy to do it. But if I were to write a book it would be on Vampires for sure!

What a Shame

What I need to remember:

JUST BECAUSE somebody flirts with you, doesn't mean they like you
JUST BECAUSE somebody likes you, doesn't mean they want to go out with you.
JUST BECAUSE somebody wants to go out with you, doesn't mean they love you.
JUST BECAUSE somebody loves you, doesn't mean they won't hurt you.

I'm Falling to Pieces

It's ironic how when you're lonely, the entire world seems to be in love.

After breaking up with George (For the second time :/) I'm actualy really lonely again. So is a number of other people I've been talking to, but the one thing they said helps is music.

I agree with that, music does make you feel a lot better but sometimes it just makes the situation a lot worse. Like, if you listen to depressing music 8 out of 10 times you're going to end up even more depressed.

I don't get life, theres really no point. I guess we're just made to make babies and fight over land. I hate that money was invented, I get the point of it and I suppose the system sort of works.. in a twisted way.. but I just hate it. Why can't everything be fair? :(



Well anyway, on to love. Although I'm only 15 I really think I have experienced love. And it's horrible. I suppose I've only discovered the bad not-being-loved-back love though.



George said he loved me. I hate it when you find the perfect guy who genuinly loves you and wants to be with you forever, and you just dont feel the same way anymore. I have no idea whats wrong with me. It's like the only way I love them is if they refuse to love me. Why are girls like this? We're incapable of taking our eyes off the ones that wont love, and ignore the ones that are willing to love.



I'd love to meet my soul mate.. I honestly believe that there is someone for everyone out there who we were meant to be with.. like an other half. I like the idea of that, it's sweet. I'm only 15 but I'm already tired of trying to win other boys affections when they clearly don't want me. I'd love to meet my soul mate now. Though, then I'd have nothing to look for and be happy with when I'm older. Life is going to be so boring and I'm terrified of growing up :( I could party all my life and stay with my friends.. that would make me very happy. But then.. what else? There has to be more to life then just babies, money and friends.



Teenage emotions suck. Thank god we only have to go through this for like, 10 years. The only thing left after this to look forward to is a midlife crisis. That'll be fine though, I'll just buy a sports car or get a tattoo or something.